“What toys should I buy for my ADHD child?” This is one of the most common questions parents ask from experts, especially during Christmas or birthdays.  Kids with ADHD need the right kind of toys that allow them to express themselves. The tricky part is making sure they find these toys stimulating and exciting; otherwise, these presents end up gathering dust at the back of a closet.  Generally speaking, simple toys that encourage pretend play and artistic ability are enough to capture the imagination of kids with ADHD.  These Christmas gift ideas for kids with ADHD feature some toys they will surely love playing with.

Playhouses

A playhouse or play tent is a great way to stimulate a child’s imagination.  Even if it’s just a sheet stretched over the living room furniture, ADHD kids enjoy using this space to make up scenarios or role-play.  A playhouse is also a great way to get your child to play with others and develop socialization skills.  It might be more practical to just get an actual playhouse or play tent; aside from being more durable, this can also double as a storage space for your child’s toys.

Blocks

A basic set of building blocks is a favorite of kids of all ages.  Not only do building blocks stimulate a child’s imagination as they stack them up to create structures; they also improve problem-solving skills as a child discovers how mixing and matching produces different shapes.  Building blocks are also very practical, versatile, and durable; if kept well, they can service many generations of children.

Art supplies

Art supplies are probably the most inexpensive and easy-to-find presents you can buy.  Clay, paint, chalk, or crayons provide a child with a wealth of opportunities for creative self-expression.   Simply place a piece of paper on a table or tack a giant paper billboard and let your child go wild with colors and different media. Just make sure that the furniture or the wall is well-covered and protected from spills and accidents.

Puppets and dolls

Puppets and dolls are a great way for a child to act out different roles, character voices, and develop their storytelling skills.  You can get a puppet theater set and encourage your child to prepare skits for the family to enjoy.  It might help if you join your child in creating a skit, as your direction will provide more structure to the activity and keep your child interested longer.

Toys to avoid

If you want to make sure your presents get played with, avoid buying toys like elaborate puzzles, complex construction sets, and complicated board game.  Younger kids with ADHD may not understand the rules or instructions of these games, while older kids may not have the patience to spend hours playing with them.  Not to mention that kids with ADHD may lose some of the smaller pieces of these games.  Kids with ADHD can still play with board games and puzzles, but just make sure they have familiar shapes or uncomplicated rules.

Well-meaning relatives, friends, and magazine articles have probably given you lots of advice on how to parent your ADHD child.  However, the so-called “rules” of good parenting don’t always work, especially when many of these techniques are only fads. Here are the five most ineffective ADHD parenting approaches and how you can make them work for your child.

Building your child’s self-esteem will improve behavior

One of the most prevalent theories today is that if a child with ADHD feels good about himself or herself, then any behavioral problems this child might experience will go away.  While this might work in theory, the problem is when parents make it easy for their child to develop high self-esteem. Maybe they ask the teacher to go easy on their ADHD child, or they praise their child endlessly. However, self-esteem does not come from empty praise; rather, it is earned from doing things that are difficult, or things that your child can feel proud of.  In order to give your child healthy self-esteem, teach him or her to solve problems and how to function well.  Start by giving your child more responsibility at home, and then have them work their way up to bigger tasks.

Talking about feelings calms down an angry child

Whenever your ADHD child acts out, you first reaction is probably to ask why he is upset. The theory is that if your child understands what he is feeling, your child will calm down and have control over his behavior. Unfortunately, upset children are not very good at reflecting about their feelings, and children with ADHD often don’t have the vocabulary to express why they are upset.  Instead of asking your child why he’s upset, teach him the appropriate ways to express his feelings.  The goal is not to help your child understand what he feels, but to make your child understand the proper ways to behave regardless of what they feel.

Children with ADHD need different standards

It’s tempting for parents and teachers to uphold ADHD children to different standards so they don’t have an even harder time than they already do.  However, this is probably the worst thing any parent can do to their ADHD child. When your child turns 18 and enters the real world, no one will care what disorder your child has.  If your child cannot perform well and get along with others, he is going to fall behind.  While children with ADHD may not have the same academic proficiency as other children, they still have to be proficient in meeting behavioral expectations, performance expectations, and following cultural norms.  Instead of making it easy for your child, help him learn to be accountable and responsible for his behavior and performance.

It’s just a teenage phase

Adolescents and teens may sometimes experiment with dangerous behaviors like drugs, alcohol, or violence.  For many teens with ADHD, however, these aren’t just phases. They might start out as things they just want to try, but they end up getting used to the behavior as a coping mechanism to the stress or frustration they experience.   Make it clear that doing drugs and drinking alcohol are high-risk activities, not only because they’ll get into trouble with the law, but because they’ll impair your child’s judgment and ability to solve problems. The good news is that teens whose ADHD symptoms have been managed at an early age are less likely to engage in these high-risk behaviors.

Punishment has to hurt

Dealing with a misbehaving child with ADHD can be very frustrating, especially if they repeat the same mistakes.  It’s not uncommon for parents to feel the need to implement a bigger and harsher punishment in order to get through to their child. However, punishment does not translate into better behavior unless your child learns from it.  Instead of just grounding your child, give your child consequences with a learning experience – remove a privilege or impose an unpleasant task until your child performs a desired behavior. For instance, you want your child to treat his brother with respect. So say to your child, “You can’t use the PlayStation unless you don’t cuss at or hit your brother for 24 hours.”

The holidays are a great time to catch up with family members you haven’t seen, enjoy good food, and simply relax for a couple of hours. That is, assuming that your ADHD child will behave. In the typical family gathering, adults usually gather together in one room while the kids play in another. Although you try your best to pay attention to the relatives you’re talking to, you’re also alert for any signs of trouble. After all, you don’t want family members to judge your ADHD parenting skills or assume that your child is in the middle of any trouble that might happen. Here are some tips you can use to help manage your child’s ADHD symptoms and make your holiday family gatherings fun and tantrum-free.

Mange your child’s expectations

You have been in many of these family gatherings and have more or less a good idea of what to expect. Remind your child about who will be there and which cousins will be around to play. Let your child know what behaviors are acceptable – greet all your relatives, say thank you when someone gives you gifts, take turns with your cousins.
Use the same discipline methods

Consistency is the key to disciplining a child with ADHD. Use the same discipline methods whether you are at home, at the supermarket, or in a relative’s house. That way, your child knows what to expect when he or she steps out of line. For instance, if you have a time-out corner at house, ask the party host if you can use a spare bedroom as the time-out room if your child misbehaves. Doing so will also keep you from causing a scene, as you can talk to your child in private instead of at the party, where all guests can hear.

Be proactive

Don’t wait for your child to get extremely hyperactive or cause a tantrum. Every hour or half hour, check the children’s room and see how everyone is getting along. If you see your child starting to act out, take him or her out of the room for a few minutes – not to discipline, but to help him or her calm down. Chances are, your child might be overstimulated by the activities going on inside; taking a break from the chaos can help him or her quiet down and be ready to play in a few minutes. And if your child is behaving well, let him or her know – positive reinforcement is the best way to encourage proper behavior.

News of children dying due to an overdose of ADHD medications and antipsychotics have made more parents aware about the issue of using such drugs to “cure” behavioral problems in children.  While these tragic occurrences show the most extreme outcome of the issue, they serve as a good reminder of the decisions parents must face, especially when their children receives the ADHD diagnosis.  Should you medicate your child in the hopes of getting good behavior? Here is a straightforward look at what these stimulants can do to your child.

It’s common for parents to turn to doctors when their children exhibit out-of-control behaviors they cannot explain.  They often breathe a sigh of relief when their child gets diagnosed with a psychological condition like ADHD or childhood depression. Now that you know what’s wrong and that there are medications available for it, your child will get all better, right?

Unfortunately, a receiving a diagnosis and prescription is not a complete solution to your child’s problems. In fact, pharmaceutical drugs targeted at behavioral improvements are a shot in the dark at best.  At worst, they cause nasty side effects that exacerbate the symptoms of the behavior or introduce new health problems; stimulant medications, for instance, cause cardiovascular complications in children if taken at high doses.   While certain drugs have been considered effective for specific disorders, keep in mind that the medicine that works for one child may not work on another.  You may have to go through a period of trial and error, which will require a lot of patience and time.

The matter of receiving diagnosis is also a problematic one, especially when it comes to children. Many health conditions share the same symptoms of ADHD and require treatments that have nothing to do with psychoactive medications.  It’s easy to misdiagnose ADHD and get treated for a condition that they don’t have, which does nothing to relieve the behavioral problems they experience.

The bottom line is that such medications aren’t designed to improve behavior in children. What they can do for your child is to restore balance to some brain chemicals that may be deficit, prolonging your child’s attention span or allowing them to gain better control of their impulses. Kids who exhibit behavioral problems turn to their “fight or flight” response when they feel threatened, and often pick “fight”. ADHD medications don’t change this tendency, but it may give your child more time to assess the situation and choose a different outcome.

The important thing is this: regardless of whether or not a child takes medication for ADHD, behavioral problems are best addressed by creating structured environments where appropriate behavior can be taught.  In order to function well in school and at home, kids need to learn problem-solving skills and coping skills. You can start by formulating make a behavior plan with your child’s doctor to be implemented at home. Create a routine, make expected behaviors clear, and enforce limits. Give your child incentives to behave well and provide positive reinforcement when he or she cooperates.

If you have decided to medicate your child, do manage your expectations about their effects. ADHD medications can help your child focus and calm down, but working with your child is the only way to overcome behavioral issues.

Once again, ADHD is a hot topic in the news.  Last week, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) National Conference took place in Boston, and unveiled a surprising new set of guidelines for diagnosing and treating ADHD.  There were a number of changes, but the one that sparked a bit of controversy is that the AAP now permits the ADHD diagnosis among children as young as 4 and as old as 18. While there is nothing wrong with extending the age limit upward, the new recommendation to diagnose down to age 4 is very disturbing.

As I’ve discussed throughout this website, what we call “ADHD” is a constellation of problems that represent imbalances in the body and mind.  These problems are the result of complex causes – exposure to toxins, food allergies, complications during pregnancy, or poor sleeping habits.

Children who have difficulties behaving in school or making friends are often brought to doctors to get evaluated for ADHD.  There, the doctors examine if the symptoms meet the diagnostic criteria. But instead of invoking the name of ADHD, a better question to ask would be, “What is going on with this child, and what steps can we take to make things better?”  By assuming ADHD right off the bat, curiosity about the meaning and causes of the behavior ends.

There are indeed children who cannot regulate their behavior and require treatment for it. But receiving an ADHD diagnosis is not the only way to give your child the help he or she needs, especially if this “treatment” is primarily made of the medication, “parent training”, and “behavior training” recommended by the AAP.  There are other ways to help a hyperactive child and his or her family; for instance, treatments like neurofeedback teach a child to control his or her capacity to self-regulate.  One does not need to get the ADHD diagnosis to receive this kind of help.

It is worth noting that children under the age 6 receive the most benefit out of these natural ADHD treatments.  At this age, the brain is most elastic and receptive to change. Additionally, these children do not experience the academic concerns that begin during first grade. When a child starts falling behind in school, the pressure to medicate increases as the child’s self-esteem plummets and the parents grow worried about his or her future.

Finally, current studies indicate that when the number of ADHD diagnosis increases, so do prescriptions of ADHD medications. When you consider the side effects of stimulants, the implementation of these new guidelines become a very worrisome development indeed.

Every October 31, children around the world dress up in their most ghoulish costumes and knock on doors in search of a wonderful prize – candy.  The days before Halloween are almost as exciting as trick-or-treating itself, what with all the pre-holiday festivities like decorating the house for Halloween, pumpkin carving, and shopping for a costume. While this holiday is certainly fun for any child, a nine-year study discovered that Halloween is among the top three holidays that result in the most pediatric emergency room visits. Injuries to the finger or hand account for 17% of injuries, while 20% of injuries were fractures. Naturally, their impulsive nature and high energy levels make children with ADHD the most accident-prone of the bunch. Here are some Halloween safety tips you can use to protect your ADHD child.

Find a safe Halloween costume

Long costumes can increase the risk of trips and falls; hem costumes as needed and make sure other parts of the garment fit your child properly.  Be sure that your child’s vision remains clear and unobstructed from hats, face paint, or mask.  While it may not exactly fit the ghostly atmosphere of the Holiday, bright-colored costumes are the safest because it makes your child more visible to motorists and other pedestrians. If your child insists on wearing black, trim his or her costume and trick-or-treat bag with a reflective, glow-in-the-dark tape.

Pumpkin carving safety

Never let your child carve pumpkins! This is the primary cause of hand and finger accidents.  Let an adult carve the pumpkin for your child and make sure that he or she uses a carving knife rather than a kitchen knife.  The pumpkin should be carved using small controlled strokes, facing away from the carver and the child.  If a finger or hand gets cut, apply pressure to the wound using a clean bandage or cloth and keep the hand elevated higher than the heart. This will stem the bleeding.  A visit to the emergency room might be needed if the bleeding does not slow down or stop in 15 minutes.

Alternatively, you can forgo pumpkin carving altogether and paint pumpkins instead.  This creative option stays in the spirit of the holiday while removing all the risks of carving.

Watch out for fire hazards

Be careful of fire hazards when you light up a jack-o-lantern or use artificial lights. It helps if your child’s costume is flame-retardant.

Accompany your child

Go trick-or-treating with your child and keep him or her in sight at all times.  Walk on sidewalks and obey all traffic signals. Carry a flashlight in case you are still out when the sun sets.  Approach only well-lit, decorated houses and keep a lookout for dogs. Adolescents and teens are old enough to enjoy Halloween on their own, but take time to remind them of ways to stay safe. Find out where they are going and make sure they bring a cellphone with them.

Taking care of a child with ADHD is a 24-hour challenge. From getting your child out of bed in the morning to making sure he sleeps at night, it feels like you’re engaged in a tug-of-war all day long. While there are certainly many resources that can help parents cope with ADHD behavioral problems, it seems that the more they read, the more confused they become as to how to discipline their child. The key to ADHD parenting is to realize that your child’s brain is wired differently from his peers. One-size-fit-all parenting approaches won’t always work with your child, but here are five secrets that do.

Adapt your parenting techniques to ADHD

There’s a reason why discipline techniques that seem to work for all kids aren’t quite as effective among kids with ADHD. Research discovered that the socio-emotional development of these children is slightly delayed.  A six-year-old boy with ADHD has the emotional development of a four-year-old.  If this is the case with your child, try to find parenting techniques that work with his stage of development rather than his biological age.

A popular example is the “time-out” technique, a discipline tool recommended to help ADHD kids overcome impulsive behavior like hitting or talking back.  Parents are told to look at a child’s age, then add one minute of time-out for every year.  Hence, your six-year-old should spend six minutes calming down in timeout. However, your six-year-old also has ADHD and will react more like a five-year-old.  So five minutes in timeout may be more appropriate.

Motivate with rewards

Tempting as it may be to punish a child who constantly misbehaves, studies show that children with ADHD respond better to rewards instead.  Going back to the timeout example – if your child refuses to stay quiet during timeout, say that the timeout will be twice as long, but he can reduce it to the usual 5 minutes by staying quiet. By placing the focus on reward rather than punishment, you speak a language someone with ADHD can understand.  Another tip is to help your child correct mistakes by showing the proper way to accomplish the task, rather than getting hung up on what went wrong.

Work on motor skills

Make a habit to work on your child’s motor skills. Studies show that many children with the disorder also experience delays in motor development, which can explain poor handwriting or “clumsy” behavior. Fun games like playing catch helps develop motor skills while enhancing you child’s ability to follow directions.

Focus on your child’s strengths

There’s a silver lining to having childhood ADHD. Current research reveals that children with the disorder tend to be more creative and have a knack for finding out-of-the-box solutions. Encourage your child’s hobbies and talents, and teach him to use these to compensate for the shortcomings of the disorder.  Give your child a smile or hug when you see him working on his hobbies, and be present during your child’s games or recitals.

Stay consistent

Exhausted parents want a quick solution to their children’s hyperactive behavior, so they tend to experiment with different strategies every other day. Just as it takes time for ADHD natural treatments to take effect, so do disciplining techniques need time and consistency before you notice any results. Remain consistent with household routines, rewards, and punishments.   The first week or so is the hardest, but children eventually learn to adapt to these strategies as time goes by. Just make sure that your child continues his or her ADHD treatments in the process.

Join a support group

One of the best ways to cope with the diagnosis is by joining an ADHD support group. Fellow parents of children with ADHD are more than happy to give you tips and advice on managing your child’s symptoms and dealing with the challenges of the disorder.  At the very least, a support group will provide you with a sympathetic ear when things get especially stressful.

Is it possible to be diagnosed with ADHD even if your child only has a few of the symptoms?

This is a question that many worried parents ask about their hyperactive or inattentive children.  The first thing you need to know about ADHD is that it is a very individual experience; some kids may have a lot of symptoms while some will only have a few.  No two children will have the exact same symptoms or problems.  The diagnosis, however, should depend on much more than just the quantity of the symptoms.

Generally speaking, the symptoms of ADHD are lumped into three main categories – hyperactivity, impulsivity, and inattention.  Hyperactivity is the most easily detected symptom because it manifests itself as restless, fidgety behavior. Impulsivity is also easily detected; kids with more of this symptom have difficulty waiting their turn or a tendency to interrupt others who are speaking. Inattention is characterized by distractibility, forgetfulness, and is usually noticed when a normally brilliant child suddenly has low grades.

ADHD is traditionally diagnosed through a checklist of symptoms published by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.  There are two lists – one for inattentive symptoms, and one for hyperactive-impulsive symptoms. Both lists have nine criteria each. To get diagnosed with primarily Inattentive ADHD, one has to meet at least six out of nine criteria.  The same goes for hyperactive-impulsive ADHD; one has to meet at least six out of nine criteria from this list. For combined ADHD, a child has to meet 12 criteria from both lists. Additionally, the symptoms should have been present before the age of 7, in two settings, and should be causing academic difficulties, emotional distress, and difficulties in the family for at least six months.

Technically, it is possible to get diagnosed with ADHD if your child only has six inattentive symptoms or six hyperactive-impulsive symptoms. However, these symptoms are not unique to ADHD; they can also point to a number of related conditions like anxiety or depression. They can even suggest a completely unrelated disorder like learning disabilities, nutritional imbalances, and sensory integration problems. In other words, the ADHD diagnostic process should involve more tests than just checking to see if the symptoms are there. Otherwise, your child could get misdiagnosed and treated for the wrong disorder – and this won’t make the symptoms go away.

So if your child has difficulties paying attention, sitting still, or controlling impulses, by all means see a professional to see if there is anything wrong.  But do not automatically assume that these symptoms point to ADHD.

When counseling parents of children with ADHD, one of the most common questions I receive is whether or not their child is ready for a sleepover.  Parents are only happy to help their kids build friendships, especially when their child has had difficulties doing so in the past. At the same time, they worry that their child’s ADHD symptoms might be too much for the host to handle, that they might cause trouble, or that their child might feel homesick.  While these instances are certainly plausible, your child can enjoy a fun sleepover at a friend’s or relative’s house with a few preparations. Before saying yes to the slumber party, consider these issues first.

Control of symptoms

Your child’s ability to regulate his or her behavior has to be the most important consideration of all.  Kids whose ADHD symptoms are out of control may end up being a burden to the host if they accidentally break items, run around the house, or talk out of turn.  Wait until your child has a better grasp of his or her behavior before agreeing to sleepovers. In the meantime, you can get your child used to being at someone else’s home and respecting another parent’s set of rules by allowing play dates at friends’ houses.

Experience

Not sure if your child is ready to sleep over even if his or her symptoms are under control? Consider his or her previous experiences first.  Kids who regularly spend time with uncles, aunts, or grandparents are used to being away from home and will probably fare well staying over a friend’s house. But if your child has rarely been away from the house without you, start with overnight stays at relatives’ homes before he or she sleeps over with friends.

Flexibility

If it’s your child’s first time away from home, think of a back-up plan in case your child does prove to be a handful for the host or if he or she gets homesick. Provide the host with your phone number and make sure that you have a way to pick your child up if necessary.

Provide information

It may help to talk to the host beforehand and inform them of your child’s ADHD so that they know what to expect.  If your child needs to take any treatments during the stay, give them clear, written instructions.  Mention any dietary concerns or allergies your child might have, and be clear about instances where you should be called.  You might also want to give out details about any unique quirks, how your child reacts to certain situations, and what discipline strategies work.

Stimulant medication may be the most widely-used treatment for ADHD, but more and more parents are looking into natural ADHD treatments after learning about the debilitating side effects of these drugs.  Still, the transition from ADHD medications to natural treatments isn’t always easy. A lot of lifestyle adjustments have to be made, and it takes weeks for any positive changes to appear.   For this reason, parents prefer the quick fix of medication over drug-free treatments, especially if the symptoms are severe. But if there was a way to beat your child’s symptoms without medication and its side effects, wouldn’t you take it?  Here are the most popular ways to beat ADHD without medication.

Create a routine

Did you know that many ADHD symptoms can be avoided with a good routine?  For instance, lack of sleep normally makes adults cranky and fatigued during the day, but this brings about hyperactive behavior in children. To make sure your child gets at least 8 hours of sleep each night, establish a regular bedtime and waking time.  Having a regular dinner time also helps; the closer dinner is to bedtime, the harder it will be for your child to fall asleep because the body is too busy digesting.

Eliminate “bad” foods

Artificial flavoring, coloring, and preservatives can trigger ADHD because of the chemicals they contain.  Parents observe that eliminating foods with artificial additives have done much to improve their child’s behavior. Start by using 100% fruit juice instead of juice boxes, juice mixes, and soft drinks, which are artificially colored and flavored.  Avoid all brightly-colored foods, as these are definitely full of food dyes. As much as possible, cook from scratch and avoid bottled sauces, which contain artificial preservatives.

Exercise and sports

ADHD kids – especially the hyperactive ones – need a physical outlet for all their pent-up energy. Studies show that thirty minutes of exercise and physical activity is just as effective at reducing symptoms as medication. Enroll your class in an after-school sport, or buy equipment like a trampoline or a skateboard.  Unstructured activity like jumping and skating is just as beneficial as participating in organized sports.  

Provide supplements

Many case of ADHD are caused by a lack of nutrients in a child’s diet.  Even with a healthy, balanced diet, your child might not be getting the nutrients he or she needs.  With the advice of a health care professional, supplement your child’s meals with an omega-3 fish oil capsule, multivitamin, or amino acids.

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