Well-meaning relatives, friends, and magazine articles have probably given you lots of advice on how to parent your ADHD child. However, the so-called “rules” of good parenting don’t always work, especially when many of these techniques are only fads. Here are the five most ineffective ADHD parenting approaches and how you can make them work for your child.
Taking care of a child with ADHD is a 24-hour challenge. From getting your child out of bed in the morning to making sure he sleeps at night, it feels like you’re engaged in a tug-of-war all day long. While there are certainly many resources that can help parents cope with ADHD behavioral problems, it seems that the more they read, the more confused they become as to how to discipline their child. The key to ADHD parenting is to realize that your child’s brain is wired differently from his peers. One-size-fit-all parenting approaches won’t always work with your child, but here are five secrets that do.
When counseling parents of children with ADHD, one of the most common questions I receive is whether or not their child is ready for a sleepover. Parents are only happy to help their kids build friendships, especially when their child has had difficulties doing so in the past. At the same time, they worry that their child’s ADHD symptoms might be too much for the host to handle, that they might cause trouble, or that their child might feel homesick. While these instances are certainly plausible, your child can enjoy a fun sleepover at a friend’s or relative’s house with a few preparations. Before saying yes to the slumber party, consider these issues first.
If there is one ADHD symptom that creates awkward social situations and hurt feelings, it has to be the lack of tact. It’s normal for children of all ages to say what’s on their mind, but those with ADHD are even more likely to have no sense of control over their speech. Regardless of whether or not your child was speaking the truth (and chances are, he or she is probably right), every parent needs to deflect these inappropriate statements. Once the words have been said, someone is bound to get offended and you, the parent, might feel helpless or embarrassed.
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Next to questions about ADHD treatment, many parents turn to me for advice on how to discipline ADHD children effectively. Although natural treatments will help reduce behavioral problems in the long run, parents have to contend with their children’s stubbornness, hyperactive tendencies, and other misbehaviors today. Parenting an ADHD child is no easy task. Even the most patient parents end up dropping their compassionate approach for a cycle of nagging, yelling, and punishing, which only seems to make their children misbehave even more.
So how do you get an ADHD child to behave? As with ADHD treatments, there is no magic bullet or formula to better discipline; each child responds to different techniques. There are a few general guidelines you can follow to keep your child’s misdeeds in check.
A colleague once remarked that in his experience working with families and children with ADHD, fathers rarely participate in behavior modification programs. This phenomenon has more to do with cultural forces than anything else; generally speaking, topics covered in these programs fall under the mother’s domain (time management, organization, and self-control). Such traditional parenting programs seem more relevant to mothers than fathers. However, the success of a holistic ADHD treatment program requires the involvement and active participation of both parents. Fathers have just as much influence as mothers when it comes to a child’s academic achievement and self-esteem.
As a parent of a child with ADHD, you’ve probably noticed something I observe among my patients: kids with ADHD don’t do well in the winter. As fall turns to winter and a blanket of snow covers the streets, kids with ADHD tend to:
Does this sound like your child?
The first day of school is just a few weeks’ away and like many parents, you’re probably looking for ways to help your ADHD child excel academically (or at the very least, meet the passing grade). One of the biggest challenges parents face is keeping their kids attentive and focused long enough to get their homework done. The average child often puts up a real struggle when it comes to schoolwork, but the symptoms of ADHD magnify the homework wars tenfold. Not only do they have problems with self-control, but their forgetful tendencies may keep them from taking note of the assignment and bringing home the things they need. Fortunately, researchers just developed a system that can reduce homework problems by half. At least, that’s what a new study just discovered.
Last year, researchers from the Brookhaven National Laboratory discovered that ADHD symptoms are partially caused by a problem in the brain’s reward pathway. Specifically, children with ADHD lack a protein in their brain, which causes a dysfunction in the way a person experiences reward and motivation. For instance, the prestige of getting good grades is not enough to motivate ADHD kids to do well in school; teachers need to provide extra engagement to get children interested in their lessons. These findings can probably explain why short attention spans and lack of focus are key behaviors of kids suffering from this disorder.
Most parents are at a loss as to how to discipline their ADHD child. Your warnings go unheeded, the house rules are ignored, and threats seem to make no difference to their behavior. Managing the behavior of kids with ADHD definitely has its challenges, especially since traditional parenting skills do not usually work on them. But with a little help from experts on ADHD, you might become more effective at helping your child overcome ADHD while keeping their behavior in check. Below are five books that offer handy hints on parenting kids with ADHD.
Parenting Children with ADHD: Lessons That Medicine Cannot Teach
This book offers easily digestible information on how nutrition and certain therapies can improve the concentration, attention span, and behavior control of kids with ADHD. Although the book sometimes advocates the use of medication to treat ADHD, it also offers practical advice on behavior management. The author provides a well-rounded approach to teaching essential life skills, improving school success, and building compassion for others. There are also questionnaires, checklists, and homework at the end of every chapter for easy application.